1. Marry someone nicer than you.
If you’re a narcissistic a-hole like most people, pick a fish with a better attitude than you. If you’re a self-involved pessimist (who isn’t?) get yourself a good-looking optimist who is also a good swimmer. If you’re a pretty decent person, despite the habit of picking fights when you’re drunk and a mountain of student loans, marry someone with no debt who still loves you when you regain consciousness in the morning. Marry someone who likes animals and is nice to kids, even if you’re not particularly fond of cats or kids. Marry someone who likes your family even if you’re family is messed up. Marry someone who makes you coffee and kisses your neck to wake you up in the morning. Marry someone kind, and who will be kind to you ad infinitum.
2. Marry someone interesting.
If you are not going to…
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